Often times I find myself in a power struggle with God. Me being the indefinite loser of all battles, wars, and skirmishes, of course. I have insecurities issues, which typically leads to me trying to prove myself in some way or another to show myself and others I am independent and capable. In case you didn't know you can't really do that with God. He is and will be infinitely in control and master of all things forever and ever, not I.
While in Guibert, our job was to build temporary schools for the village. They we're almost like stalls you would keep livestock in without the fences, or animals. . . We placed blackboard material on the insides so they could write on the walls without ruining them, and metal roofs to protect them from the rain. Because Haiti is a tropical climate, it rains almost constantly during the spring and summer. My team and I successfully built these schools in a remarkable 3 days, when we actually thought we would be working on them for the entire week.
To say the least I was proud of what I had accomplished, especially since growing up my family really didn't think I was made out for manual labor. I had proven my family wrong in that I was one of the two men on the team, and had done the majority of cutting and nailing the schools together. We soon gathered the rest of the members of the team who had been working on other things around the village. We sat under the schools and began to pray and sing praises to God. As we began to sing, it also began to rain. . . We in turn would try to sing louder than the rain, but for some reason it began to rain so hard on the metal roofs that we couldn't even hear our own voices. No matter how loud or hard we tried to out sing God, He showed us how beautiful He could sound with something with some as small and trivial as rain. We soon began to stop singing and sat and soaked ourselves in God's majesty. It was a humbling experience to say the least.
Soon after the rain subsided, we began to pray and give thanks to God for his glory, power, and mercy on us to be able to build something so important for someone else. Honestly I was still feeling as if I alone had accomplished the task by myself, even after God's deafening rain. But then I looked up toward the mountains, and to the valley that was between us. Even though it had stopped raining the clouds were still close by, and soon closed in on us. Before I knew it I was immersed in side a cloud. I couldn't see more than 3 feet in front of me, my clothes and body were completely soaked with the condensation of the cloud. My pride was crushed. God showed me how pathetic my little lean-to shack was to His cloud, composed of so much mystery and wonder that I could barely wrap my mind around it.
This moment in Haiti stood and stands out to me above almost all the other experiences. Just when I thought I knew God, and had him in the palm of my hand; God proved me wrong once again. I remember this "cloud experience" every time I think about starting a war with God. Sometimes it helps me to remember my place, and sometimes it doesn't, but all in all He revealed to me a minute portion of His wonder, mystery, and power that surpasses anything I could ever hope or dream to be. I find peace in knowing that there is a God in absolute control of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment