As a student at the University of Mary Hardin - Baylor I run across and find myself amidst people from all walks of life. Blacks, Internationals, Dallas Folks, Austinites, Public Schooled and the Dreaded Home Schooled. The majority of people on campus are completely and absolutely different. I find this to be a wonderful depiction of the Church, people coming together bringing their talents, gifts, and different perspectives to build another up. But lets get REAL for a split second, though these things may be true, nice and pretty written out. We all know that having them played out in reality is a totally different story.
For me, I have had a past filled with mistakes and incredible victories. I have been blessed with great minds, loving hearts, and unique personalities who have instilled a great time into me. I have also been burdened by trial and error style of learning, experiencing life the hard way one would most likely say. Even though things haven't been the easiest, I wouldn't have changed them for the world. Because I wouldn't be the person I am today with having gone through the pain, heartache, joy, and victories. I have learned that for me, as a imperfect human being, I find myself as a risk taker, willing to push the envelope when necessary, one to view at a level of the future and larger aspect than just the now. I hope and pray that what I do now, regardless how others may feel about it, would leave some sort of positive impact that someone can grow from later. To think that someone may think back about this skinny bearded man and say, "I didn't always agree with what he wanted to do, but I saw his heart, and I'm thankful now for what he attempted to do."
The more and more I explore, think about, and meditate on the current health of our churches, meaning the body, I find that there are a number of people who have the disease we all know, "the consistent christian" John Eldridge says in his book Wild at Heart, this day and age more men are taught to be passive and to be "nice guys", and more women are taught to be aggressive and to be "strong women". But the truth is, the Bible teaches us that men are supposed to be warriors fighting for our beliefs, faith, and women. In the same way, women are supposed to be faithful, supportive, and encouraging, fueling the fire for those men and others around them. I desperately wish that there were more people who were willing to lay themselves out, and risk everything for the simple chance of making a difference in another person life. But the pathetic truth is that because we are so worried about what others are going to think or say about us, or about our own comforts it's almost an impossible task for one to put themselves out on the edge.
As for me, I know how I feel about certain things, and that I may be willing to take risks others may think are absurd. But I pray that I would be more understanding of what others believe, how others were raised, and their process of understanding. That others may not have been as blessed as I when it comes to the training, mentoring, and experiences I have had. But regardless, I would grow in acceptance of others, and they would grow in acceptance of me. That they themselves would grow in spiritual maturity and move from their comfort to a radical life of faith, and taking of risks. I am thankful for who I have been made into, the daily frustrations that remind me of the people around me, and the ways I may be able to positively impact them.
"Let the weight of who you are weigh on the world, and then let them do with it as they will" - John Eldridge, Wild at Heart
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
What Goes Around, Come Around
Roughly a year and half ago after 19yrs of living with my family I found out that I was adopted. It was shocking, unexpected, and life-changing. Information like this is not typically taken well, and people who react in incorrect ways often find themselves abandoning the very people who chose them, or even trying to block the feelings of confusion and deception with anything from work, sex, relationships, alcoholism, or drug abuse. These things were true for me, I tried to use every single one of these things to try and clear my confusion, and feelings of deceit. But, regardless of how much I drank or smoked (multiple things) or worked or made relationships none of these things made anything better, they just made things worse and worse for me.
It wasn't until I was jerked out of the place I was and completely shook loose from the chains that literally were binding me to the emotions I was feeling, was I able to begin a process of healing and growth. Until I opened my eyes and completely understood that my identity is made perfect in the blood of Christ. I realize that this sounds like total cheese, a 5lb wedge of sharp cheddar if you will; but it's 100% true. Nothing else but the grace, and mercy of God made and makes me able to look past the past and move me steadily towards the future that He has for me. Because we and I are His creation, we and I are plainly under His ownership, and until we submit to this and realize our identity and role in the Kingdom of God are we finally able to achieve the things God has at hand for our lives.
Now as I've returned to the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor I find myself, honestly, easily tempted to return to the habits of old. The only thing that consistently keeps me from them is the knowledge of being called to something greater than what this world has to offer.
Funny Story Alert.
Last year as I was throwing a party at my house, I had an unexpected guest arrive. Not cops, not faculty, not my mom, but a young man whose name wont be mentioned, but rhymes with "Oven Babies". He called me outside of my house for a chat, so of course I some how peeled my inebriated self off my couch and followed. We went out to his car, at least I think it was his car, and he began attempting to speak to me about how as Christians and Christian leaders we are called to strive for something higher than what is of this world. Which at that very time and place I was very well pleasantly participating in such things. Eventually we finished our conversation and I went along with what I was doing before.
The End.
Obviously what my friend had explained to me that night hit home, and has left it's make in me. My hope and what I am finding is that this change is beginning to show its fruits. I find myself engaging others in more meaningful conversations, getting into a rhythm with my disciplines, productivity in my work, and able to share my story (like I am now) more and more often. Through all of my struggles, faults, and failures nothing that I do is not out of the control and understanding of God. The fact of the matter is that God is in control of all things, that all things happen through Him, and all things happen for Him and we as His creation are satisfied in these things.
"You make all things work together for my good." - Jesus Culture, Your Love Never Fails.
It wasn't until I was jerked out of the place I was and completely shook loose from the chains that literally were binding me to the emotions I was feeling, was I able to begin a process of healing and growth. Until I opened my eyes and completely understood that my identity is made perfect in the blood of Christ. I realize that this sounds like total cheese, a 5lb wedge of sharp cheddar if you will; but it's 100% true. Nothing else but the grace, and mercy of God made and makes me able to look past the past and move me steadily towards the future that He has for me. Because we and I are His creation, we and I are plainly under His ownership, and until we submit to this and realize our identity and role in the Kingdom of God are we finally able to achieve the things God has at hand for our lives.
Now as I've returned to the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor I find myself, honestly, easily tempted to return to the habits of old. The only thing that consistently keeps me from them is the knowledge of being called to something greater than what this world has to offer.
Funny Story Alert.
Last year as I was throwing a party at my house, I had an unexpected guest arrive. Not cops, not faculty, not my mom, but a young man whose name wont be mentioned, but rhymes with "Oven Babies". He called me outside of my house for a chat, so of course I some how peeled my inebriated self off my couch and followed. We went out to his car, at least I think it was his car, and he began attempting to speak to me about how as Christians and Christian leaders we are called to strive for something higher than what is of this world. Which at that very time and place I was very well pleasantly participating in such things. Eventually we finished our conversation and I went along with what I was doing before.
The End.
Obviously what my friend had explained to me that night hit home, and has left it's make in me. My hope and what I am finding is that this change is beginning to show its fruits. I find myself engaging others in more meaningful conversations, getting into a rhythm with my disciplines, productivity in my work, and able to share my story (like I am now) more and more often. Through all of my struggles, faults, and failures nothing that I do is not out of the control and understanding of God. The fact of the matter is that God is in control of all things, that all things happen through Him, and all things happen for Him and we as His creation are satisfied in these things.
"You make all things work together for my good." - Jesus Culture, Your Love Never Fails.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
First time in a long time
It's been awhile since my last post, and quite frankly a lot has happened since too.
I left Pearland, the church, the internship, the youth, August 11th and have recently moved back to Belton to conquer yet another year at UMHB. My time in Pearland was again a time of learning and sharpening of skills and talents. Jason did another great job of challenging my abilities, emotions, and life style as I work under him at FBC. I have thoroughly enjoyed the past two years of working along side of such great spiritual leaders.
Since coming back to campus I find myself some what re-energized and ready for the school year. I left in May bitter and unhappy with specific people and situations on campus and I honestly wasn't sure how the returning school year would turn out. But to my surprise, with the exception of one or two occasions, this year so far has been a relatively smooth one. My classes are good, most are easy, I have a morning routine, and relationships with friends have been getting better.
In addition to this, FYC has been phenomenal. I will admit I have high standards for most things, its the way I was raised and the way I function. But out of all things FYC has been the one thing that has gone above my expectations every time. We inducted 63 members this year, more than there has ever been and we are meeting in the conference center again; which is where I had FYC when I was just a member. I should probably mention that I am head leader this year, I am constantly humbled and honored that I of all people would be chosen for such an organization.
All in all I'm excited to see how this year unfolds, the beginning has been nice, but we all know it is in the months to come that truly yield the out come of the year.
I left Pearland, the church, the internship, the youth, August 11th and have recently moved back to Belton to conquer yet another year at UMHB. My time in Pearland was again a time of learning and sharpening of skills and talents. Jason did another great job of challenging my abilities, emotions, and life style as I work under him at FBC. I have thoroughly enjoyed the past two years of working along side of such great spiritual leaders.
Since coming back to campus I find myself some what re-energized and ready for the school year. I left in May bitter and unhappy with specific people and situations on campus and I honestly wasn't sure how the returning school year would turn out. But to my surprise, with the exception of one or two occasions, this year so far has been a relatively smooth one. My classes are good, most are easy, I have a morning routine, and relationships with friends have been getting better.
In addition to this, FYC has been phenomenal. I will admit I have high standards for most things, its the way I was raised and the way I function. But out of all things FYC has been the one thing that has gone above my expectations every time. We inducted 63 members this year, more than there has ever been and we are meeting in the conference center again; which is where I had FYC when I was just a member. I should probably mention that I am head leader this year, I am constantly humbled and honored that I of all people would be chosen for such an organization.
All in all I'm excited to see how this year unfolds, the beginning has been nice, but we all know it is in the months to come that truly yield the out come of the year.
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