Discernment in the OR

This past year I've been a member of Hair Club. Yes... Like the one on late night infomercials. I actually worked, when I was actually using it. It was a fun experience but the fact of the matter is that I've been losing my hair since I've been 16yrs old and I'll probably be bald by the time I am 30, if not sooner. Well at the end of your term at Hair Club, they encourage you to take the next step, which is a hair transplant; we know this has hair plugs.

I have never been concerned with my hair line, but only when I get hit on by 30 and 35 year old women at bars and other places. Honestly my mom was the one to initiate this whole process, and when it came down to getting a hair transplant or not she was the one who wanted me to do it. Well because I have a bad habit of taking everything lightly, I knowledgeably said, "ok".

In a matter of weeks I found myself sitting in the waiting room on Tuesday. It never dawned on me that this would be a legitimate operation, surgery. Even so I really was not worried about it, I would be given enough sedatives to knock-out a horse, which sounded like a good time to me. But as we were moved into the OR to be informed about post procedure "do's-and-don'ts" something came over me. This something could only be "The Holy Ghost", and I automatically knew that this was not what I needed to do. This wasn't something I needed to do to appease family, or anyone. As the nurse kept going on about what to do and what not to do, I could only remember Psalm 139. "¹³For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." To say the least, this was like a bullhorn from God saying, "GET OUT OF THERE". So I did the only natural and appropriate thing to do in a situation like that. I turned to my mother and told her, "I'm not going to do this, nor do I want to." At that time we turned to the nurses and the doctor and said we've changed our minds and we'll be leaving now.

The topic in this isn't that I bailed on a procedure in mere seconds of starting it, but the fact of knowing when you hear an answer from God or not. Please don't think this is about how I can recognize discernment and how I'm amazing at it; cause I'm not, I'd like to say I'm the worst. I'd like to take a minute and just say how important it is to be able to distinguish true discernment. Far to many times these days I see Christ-followers, making decisions to go out and do something not because that God has released them to do something, but just because they want to. They want to do something because either it's the popular, trendy thing to do in our Christian circles or because it's fun. In case you didn't know, Christ wasn't a trendy person, he rarely did the popular thing. The obedience that Christ portrays during the Gospels is one that should be, and is unattractive to most people. Personally I would much rather sit on my couch all day, watch tv, and never leave the house. But unfortuanatley that is not always what Christ wants from us. It does not mean that everyone needs to go and do all of these radical things for God. It means that we all need to be attentive to what God's will for our life is, and be obedient to it. It takes baby steps, and patience. It's crucial that you don't become complacent in your walks, but it also means not to grow numb to the calls and answers you do receive from God.

So that pretty much wraps that one up folks. Thanks for reading and remember to check out Jon Dean on facebook, and JonDeanMusic.com for more info on my upcoming album.

Movement Behind 20,000

Recently I attended my Aunt and Uncle's 50th Wedding Anniversary. What an enormous milestone, in their lives and marriage. They held a ceremony in an historical hotel in New Braunfels, where they renewed their covenant, and shared vows in the form of speeches before dinner. They've always been a huge inspiration in my life, my Uncle being a retired college professor, and pastor, my aunt being a school teacher, and together gifted musicians. During their given speeches they both shared simplicity in their words, but elegance in their meaning. When I arrived home I practically immediately called a friend, and begun working on a song. Not solely to reflect, interpret, or share the inspiration in a musical sense, but also to honor them. When the day was done Ellen and I stepped away with a song that we call 20,000. I wanted to share the lyrics with all of you, and explain some points of the song. This song will also be on my upcoming project "Creatures" which will be coming out at the summer.

20,000

20,000 days for better for worse
- 2o,077 days was the amount of days they had been together at their 50th anniversary
perseverance, patience, has conquered all

through the valleys, through the mountains, forests and fields

your beauty and grace have never missed a note
- My Aunt looks as if she has never aged, she is timeless in every sense of the word

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh


20,000 days I have spent with you

my heart and my home one in same
- As it should be . . .
all of my love, never give up for every day is new

your wisdom and strength have never missed a note
- These are characteristics of any great husband, leader, or hero.

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh


I love you today more than yesterday
I love you today less than tomorrow
- These are lines out of his speech to his wife, in meaning the longer they are together, the more he loves her.

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh


I'm excited to share the finished product to you in the following months. Until then continue to stay posted!

Upcoming Project

It's officially summer now,in case you haven't noticed, let the excessive blogging begin. It's refreshing to be able to now focus much of my time on music, and my upcoming project.

I'm excited to announce that in two weeks I will be starting my own five song project. It's something that I've been wanting to do for awhile, and have also talked myself out of a time or two. Now with the financial support necessary, and great friends to encourage me; it's finally time to put all excuses aside and go for it. The week of June 13th I will be entering Rattle Trap Studio's in Austin to produce a 5 song album. This studio is probably most well known for recording David Ramirez's new album "StrangeTown".

I have never been apart of a studio recording before, let alone creating an album. It will be an experience, which I hope you will be apart of. Through out the process I will be uploading photos and updates from each day of recording. You can stay in touch by following this blog, Jon Dean on Facebook, and/or JonDeanMusic on twitter. I am expecting the release of the album to be sometime in late summer or early fall. At that time I will be releasing a full website, in which you can purchase a digital version of the album, hard copy, and/or other merch. Like I said before, it's an exciting process that I hope you'll be apart of!

A Few of My Favorite Things.

I like food.
I like water. (recreational purposes)
I like sleeping. (personal record is 16hrs of 100% slumber)
I like music.
I like videos.

So here are a few of my favorite bands and their videos.

Shake It Out - Manchester Orchestra
It incorporates one of my favorite movies... Over The Top
http://vevo.ly/hHn5op

How He Loves - Jon Mark McMillan
Kind of cheesy but I respect what he is doing in the christian music scene.
I really like this version of his song, because to many times people try to down play it,
when really it is a jam.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiuPcrW01zo&feature=related

Pyro - Kings of Leon
Cause everyone else is doing it.
http://youtu.be/gFp7q-IJqno

Heartless - The Fray
Cause I love Kayne's clever lyrics and The Fray's vocal phrasing.
http://youtu.be/LBTdJHkAr5A

The Last Time - Paper Route
If you don't know them you should.
http://vimeo.com/16421462

Running Right - Courrier
Cause they dress cool.
http://vimeo.com/22584810?ab

The Real World

I'm a big fan of television. I probably shouldn't be. But I am. It's probably from growing up in the country, where there isn't anything to do other than to watch tv, even if you only have 2 or 3 channels. Recently after coming to college I've been introduced to MTV. Don't get me wrong I've always have known or heard of MTV, but I've never really watched it on a consistent basis like I do now. Some of my favorite shows include Jersey Shore, The Real World, and the Buried Life. I know some consider these shows pure trash, but in my opinion if your looking at television as a source of influence or education, you have issues. I watch these shows mostly for their entertainment value, as low as that may be. It's mainly about watching how ridiculous media, and some people are.

Recently, I applied to be on The Real World. It was on a whim and I honestly had no plans for the weekend, so I went to Houston. The interviews were on a Saturday. I went in the morning. The auditions were at a patio bar in downtown, and I was surprisingly one of the first people there. I walked in and was handed a application, where I filled out question after question about myself, and every embarrassing story or hardship I had ever been apart of. I was a lot actually, and quite an array of answers. I kind of surprised myself after reading over it. Once I finished the application I was placed into a line to interview. Once they had us in line they had us grouped up into interview groups of ten, and lucky me, I was in the first one. Being a seasoned interviewer I knew that this could either hurt me, or be a very good thing. They soon moved use into a room where we were met by the producers, who would very soon be asking us lots of questions. After going around the room and introducing ourselves I found out that I was the only Christian at my table and one of 3 straight people at my table as well. I was soon asked probing question of why I wanted to be a Christian, how I felt about others taking part in premarital sex, to name a few.

After just having basic conversation with each other, and answering the question the producers threw at us, we were given ten seconds to think of a thought question to ask the person across from us. The lady sitting across from me was Allie. She was about my age, maybe a little older. She was quite small and looked like a boy. She was a lesbian, and had been sober for only a year. Soon the first questions were asked and of course people asked what was your favorite sexual position, or how much alcohol can you drink. But when it came to Allie and I we dug a little deeper. I asked Allie, "What was it like going through the process of becoming sober?" and Allie asked me, "Is it a struggle for your faith to be a Christian and be around alcohol?".

Being able to go to a place and answer serious questions from real people, reminded me of the real world. As a college student at a private baptist college I often forget about the huge amount of lost people hurting and searching for answers in the world. I've never had someone ask me or even question my faith. And when someone finally did, it felt good. It felt good to know everything that people have invested in me, and everything I've been absorbed at my Bible College actually paid off. It was refreshing to be able to glimpse into the real world.

Weekend Recap

This past weekend was probably one of the best few days I've had in awhile. Friday I was able to meet with a small studio in Austin and lock down some definite information about recording an EP this summer. I also had the opportunity to hang out and listen to some great Austin musicians, the Courrier and Aaron Ivey guys. If you haven't heard of them your missing out. Go to http://www.courriermusic.com and http://aaronivey.com to give them a listen. Then on Saturday I took a trip to Lampasas to visit my good friend and fellow musician Clay Tyner. I know Clay because he came to Haiti this last trip and was one of the few people I had the pleasure of connecting with. We had a great time "shooting-the-breeze", driving the roads, and crashing his churches DNOW. I actually ended up running into Jimmie Ingram while I was there too. Jimmie plays with many bands around Austin, but predominately with Aaron Ivey and The Austin Stone Community Church. So it was funny to see him again after already seeing him the previous night at The Parish.

I say all of this to give the example of how great my weekend has been, because on Saturday night there was a definite change of pace. I'm aware of spiritual warfare, probably a little more than most. Not that I am superstious or believe in the supernatural of monsters, or aliens. But that Satan and his demons are out to encourage and distract Christ followers from their pathes of Godliness. I think that sometimes takes forms of sin, different unhealthy emotions, and even simple day to day struggles that typically don't happen. We find in John 10:10 that Jesus gives us a clear understanding of what is happening.

In saying all of this, as I was trying to sleep on Saturday, I experienced something that I never thought I would. I had very intense, graphic and frieghtening dreams of things chasing me, and inflicting extreme pain. It was much like the movie SAW if your familiar with that. Normally when these sorts of dreams occur, which they almost never do, I typically just wake up, but for some reason I couldn't. It was as though something was keeping me in the dream. Not to mention I could feel a presences in the room with me, asthough something was standing on my bed next to where I was lying. It was probably the craziest experience that I have ever dealt with. When I finally awoke, my room was pitch black when tyipically there is some light from the street light outside my window. As I slowly became coherent the only thing I could do was to sit up and start quoting scripture, praying out loud, and repeating Jesus' name. After doing this for almost 15mins straight I finally felt safe enough to move around and stare at Facebook for about an hour, then drift back to sleep, with every light on in the room.

I am not quite sure where I am going with this, but I hope you don't think I am in need of some sort of counseling or exorcism. I basically just wanted to confess this experience so that you would know about it, be able to pray and be aware of the enemy that IS real and IS trying to attack us by all means possible. In my case my subconscious while I am asleep. I'd like to conclude this post with encouragement. For those of us who are one with Christ we have no need to worry, because the same power that conquered the grave lives in us, and as long as we put our faith and believe there will always be power in the precious name of Jesus Christ.

Getting Things in Order

It's been a bit since I last shared my thoughts.

Mostly because not much has been going on.

I've had a much easier transition into the States than last time, other than my stomach becoming very particular of what it comes into contact with. I recently met some of my friends at Taco Bell for dinner, and as soon I finished my meal it felt as though my stomach was screaming at me from all the grease that I had ingested. Though this is an obnoxious trait to have brought back from Haiti with me, it is causing me to eat healthier.

I'm also find joy in the was God is challenging me. Most probably wouldn't, because it is frustrating. I've been working on my disciplines, specifically reading His word, personal stewardship and communicating more with Him. I've been waking up a littler earlier than usual and reading before my day. But ironically because I get up earlier I get tried faster, and then I tend to sleep in... So it's a challenge of getting my priorities in order so I can go to bed before midnight for once. Secondly on the issue of personal stewardship, my education, this has been a huge struggle. I can honestly say I am completely fed up with school and am ready to drop out this very second. The only thing keeping me from this is knowing that I have to get my degree in order to fulfill God's calling for my life, so I continue to push forward. Lastly, it is very easy in our American culture to make ourselves so busy that we forget to acknowledge God. I do it all the time, which is why I'm trying to take time each day to pause and communicate with my Creator, and Savior.

To conclude this update, It's been really neat to see some relationships strengthen around me. In the last few days I've had the opportunity to causally meet and talk to some fellow campus leaders. I can't explain how its been to network with others on campus about methods of servant leadership. We don't always realize when God open's doors for us, but when we do it's something special that as apart of the creation I really cannot fully explain.

Haitian Christmas Journals

In my last trip to Haiti, I posted a few stories of some events that occurred while we were there. This time I am going to disclose to you my Journals from this last trip. Enjoy.

Day 1

It's strange being back in Haiti. I really never thought I would be back here, regardless of the hopes I had. It has definitely been all of God's doing getting me back in this country. It's a different group this time, but so far its not a bad thing. There are the similar characters as last, the comic, the serious, the overly excited, and etc. I feel as though I take the role of the veteran. I'm one of the four people on our team that has been here before. I am not sure what exactly God has in store for me, but like the divine being He is, He has a plan. I keep praising God for this opportunity, the Tap-Tap, the airport, the people and especially the food. I was happy to see Jean Helix again. He has made lots of improvements on his house, and welcomed us in like usual. They had a typically large Haitian meal prepared for us on our arrival. Most people ate, and then we concluded our day of travel with a team meeting. Even though it's only 8:45pm everyone is heading to bed now.

Day 2

Today was our first day of work. I was very happy to hear we wouldn't be doing much construction on this trip. Seeing as my last visit we constructed a school, and repaired rafters for the majority of the time. An all so because we have again a lot of girls on this trip with us too. When we woke up I was sad to not see any mangoes for breakfast, but still the coffee and other fruits were as good as ever. We quickly ate and left for Marotiere. Marotiere is about 30mins north of Guibert and Kenscoff into the mountains. We rode as far as we could in the Tap-Tap then hiked to the location of the school we would be working on for about a mile. The clouds were low, and close to the mountains this morning. We walked through them for the majority of the morning. It was nice to see some of the older boys from the home had joined us to help today; Austin, Wilberson, Ginsly and Kenjohn. The school was in pretty bad shape, it definitely needed a good cleaning and paint job. We spent the majority of the day prepping the rooms, and cutting in on the corners, so that the following days would go by faster. On the way home I was able to ride on the back on the Tap-Tap like a true Haitian. It was nice to be back, to know what to expect, and being able to fully take part this time. Like usual we ended our day with a bucket shower, a nice meal, and a team meeting.

Day 3

Today was the second day of work. It's been nice seeing familiar faces, familiar sounds, and smells. We are working in a part of Haiti I have yet to see, we are higher in the mountains than I've ever been before. The area is beautiful and the neighboring mountain is one of the tallest peaks in Haiti. It's an awe inspiring sight as we work and walk during the day. It's funny to see how much attention we draw while we are here, because we are the only white people in the area. It's even funnier to think that I could be the first white person a child has ever seen, and maybe even the only one they ever will. But everyone we pass on the road or encounter in general always great us with a large Haitian smile. I am concerned about our team. I can see some conflicts starting to form, and issues with food and manners too. But as I see this I have to remind myself it is very possible it is merely warfare. The demonic forces know the power God has over the team and my heart for Haiti. I could only suspect the forces at hand swill stop at nothing to distract me from His plan.

Day 4

Today we had to get as close to finishing the school as we could. I was attacked ruthlessly last night, which continued into today by Satan. Needless to say this followed me into my work and there were time when I was very snappy and moody, and got very angry when people at lunch would not eat their food. The Haitians have been spoiling with us with our meals with mounds of spaghetti, chicken, french fries, and fruit. The amount that they are giving us could only cost thousands of dollars in their currency. A relief came today though when I was share some of these things with Jen, and converse about them. In other news I was able to talk to Ginsley and share with the other boys about life in the states and relate spiritual topics with them.

Day 5

I got a full nights rest last night on the couch. Jeff's snoring kept me up for to long, and it sounded like he was dying so I really could fall asleep while I was lying in the next bed beside him. Our last time to walk the mountain to the school is today. It's a satisfying feeling knowing that our task is accomplished. We only had to clean the floor and rearrange the desks and all would be done. It's such a joy to think that our three days of work will allow close to 300 children to have practically a brand new school. We later went to the Baptist Mission to eat lunch, and purchase gifts and what no. I got post cards, a gift for my mom, and a hat for a dollar. The only thing I really wanted was vanilla and coffee. Everything else is to common or too large to transport. We also have the privilege of celebrating the new year with Jean Helix and his church. As I am here writing in the sanctuary at something like 2:30am. It is freezing and the little ones are sleeping all over the team. We have worshiped in song, skit, preaching, prayer, fellowship, and now Pastor is informing his congregation about the Cholera that is spreading through the country. It's obvious that the church in Guibert is a light shining in a very dark place. This church is truly every sense of the Biblical word. They are reaching and ministering to every member of its community. Pastor Jean Helix told us last week they lead the local voodoo with doctor to salvation and burnt all of his idols and voodoo tools. It is a blessing and encouragement to hear these things happening in Haiti.

Day 6

Today is Sunday. In Haiti, not just Christian culture, Sunday is the day of rest. This morning as we went to church, where the markets are usually pack shoulder to shoulder, there were only a few people. On the road this morning, it was interesting to see Haitians walking to church in their Sunday best. This pretty much included a coat or jacket, collared shirt, tie and nice hat. Most women had on nice dresses and some even had on formal wear. When we arrived at church in Guibert, everyone had Sunday school together in the sanctuary for about an hour. Once that was complete normal service began, followed the typical pattern of any other church in the states. The only thing different was that in the end of this service Jean Helix called upon a man in the congregation to stand. In French he announced the welcoming of a new member, I'm not sure what his name was, but everyone one applauded like the usual. When we were done at church, finished playing with the boys, and on the way home Jen and Jeff let us in on what had really happened at the end of church. Apparently the man that stood up, the new member, had previously been the town of Guibert's Witch Doctor. They said that Jean Helix and other people from the church lead him to salvation in Christ a week ago, and went to his home and disposed all of his Voodoo tools, idols and other things by fire. In America we really don't have a very strong understanding of what it means to have these evil pressures tempting and attacking us. Where as in other countries it is a day to day thing, that forces people to either fall, or to completely depend on God. Such a thing that I know that I have no clue about. I find myself going day to day all the while not even acknowledging the Divine that allows me to be. These are the things that I think God is working inside me while I am here, and what will travel back home with me tomorrow.

Day 7

Today has been a day completely dedicated to travel. We've spent 20hrs in airports, airplanes, or cars.... I really don't have much to say other than Jen, Jeff and I's surprise waiting for us in the ATX parking lot. Once we finally traveled home we found Jeff's SUV with not only a flat tire but a dead battery.... We arrived back in Belton at about 12am when we should have arrived at 10 or 11. Other than the unfortunate ending the trip was good, and the next days and weeks will be dedicated to sorting through all that still remains with my life and missions.